In Episode 5 of Unseen but Not Untold: Overcoming Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Dr. Christine C. Zacharia MD, integrative covert narcissistic abuse recovery expert and board certified endocrinologist, expands on the divine blueprint given to her by God to heal from covert narcissistic abuse.
In this episode, Dr. Zacharia continues to build on the healing blueprint elements introduced in Episode 4. She introduces journaling, reading scripture and divine surrender as additional critical elements of the healing journey.
Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse: Journaling, God’s Guidance and Inner Reconstruction
Early in her healing journey in 2023, Dr. Zacharia considered enrolling in therapy to process the psychological warfare she experienced in her covert narcissistic relationships. Even the thought of beginning that process felt paralyzing.
“Early in my healing journey in 2023, I thought about enrolling in therapy to process the overwhelming psychological warfare I was experiencing in my covert narcissistic relationships. But honestly, even just thinking about starting that process felt paralyzing.”
Five years earlier, she had already spent a full year in therapy trying to understand why she could not attract a meaningful romantic relationship. Despite actively trying to meet someone through dating apps and even working with a matchmaker, the pattern remained unchanged. The men she encountered were emotionally unavailable, avoidant or only interested in something superficial.
“No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t seem to find a genuine relationship.”
She describes sensing a deeper unresolved block that she could not fully name at the time.
“I sensed a massive energetic block—something I couldn’t quite name or understand. It felt as if something beyond me was keeping me from entering a real relationship or moving toward marriage.”
While therapy provided some insight, she explains that it did not reveal the true root of her relational patterns.
“In fact, the work I did exploring my relationships with my father and best friend didn’t reveal that I was actually dealing with two covert narcissists. The pieces simply never fully connected for me in that space.”
“The idea of starting over with a new therapist—opening up again, exposing fresh wounds and risking being misunderstood by someone who might not be familiar with covert narcissistic abuse—terrified me.”
The Turning Point Toward Journaling
That is when Dr. Zacharia felt drawn toward journaling as an alternative space for processing. She describes journaling as a deeply stabilizing and private space for emotional truth.
“There’s something profoundly healing about having a space that is entirely your own—a place where your thoughts, feelings and experiences can exist without judgment or interruption.”
“A journal doesn’t question your reality. It doesn’t gaslight you. It doesn’t minimize or twist your truth. It simply receives.”
Journaling as Emotional Witnessing and Validation
For survivors of covert narcissistic abuse, she explains that this kind of internal validation is significant.
“You’ve been doubted, invalidated and manipulated so deeply that even your own perception can feel fragile.”
Through journaling, she describes a gradual rebuilding of internal trust.
“Journaling gently rebuilds that inner trust. It reminds you: your experiences are real. Your emotions are valid. Your truth matters.”
She notes that journaling also allows emotional processing in real time.
“Through journaling, you can process emotions in real time—anger, grief, disappointment, fear.”
Creating Structure for Inner Work
Dr. Zacharia explains that journaling becomes most transformative when it is intentional rather than purely expressive.
“In my journaling space, I would name what happened—clearly and honestly. I identified the emotions surrounding the moment. I traced those emotions back to an earlier time I had felt the same way. Then I sat with that memory and explored why it impacted me so deeply.”
She describes this process as a space where spiritual clarity often emerged alongside emotional processing.
“And in that space, God and His angels walked with me. They guided my thoughts, brought clarity to old pain and revealed connections I never could have seen on my own.”
She emphasizes the moment of insight as a turning point in healing.
“That’s where the breakthrough happens—right in the moment you finally see the bridge between your past and your present, breaking the cycle so it doesn’t keep repeating.”
Patterns, Origins and Nervous System Integration
“Journaling helped me uncover, understand and heal parts of myself that had gone unnamed for years.”
She adds that this awareness brought clarity to long-standing behavioral patterns.
“I began to see why I attracted so many narcissists into my life, why I had tolerated things no one should ever tolerate and why certain patterns kept repeating.”
A Balanced Reflection on Therapy
Dr. Zacharia also offers a grounded reflection on therapy and its importance.
“I want to take a moment to speak about therapy. Even though therapy wasn’t the right fit for me, I don’t want you to brush past its importance in case it is the right fit for you.”
She acknowledges that therapy can be deeply supportive when aligned with the right provider.
“A therapist who understands covert narcissism and its dynamics can be truly life-changing. Therapy offers structure, validation and professional guidance.”
She emphasizes that therapy is essential in certain cases.
“There are times when therapy is absolutely necessary and journaling on its own will not be enough.”
If someone is experiencing severe mental health distress, she stresses the importance of immediate professional support.
“If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or feel like you might harm yourself, it is critical that you go to your nearest emergency room or crisis center for immediate evaluation by a licensed mental health provider. Your life matters. You matter.”
Therapy and Journaling as Complementary Tools
Dr. Zacharia explains that therapy and journaling are not mutually exclusive.
“Choosing one doesn’t mean you can’t do the other. Therapy and journaling can work hand in hand.”
She describes them as complementary forms of support.
“Together, they create a powerful, clarifying and stabilizing experience as you heal from covert narcissistic abuse.”
Limitations of Traditional Healing Models
She also acknowledges that both approaches have limitations when addressing complex trauma.
“Even when therapy is a good fit, many survivors find there are parts of the experience that traditional therapeutic models don’t fully capture.”
She notes that journaling, while powerful, is also not a complete solution on its own.
“While journaling is a deeply helpful outlet—especially when formal therapy isn’t a good fit—it is not enough to address the invasive, lingering effects of covert narcissistic abuse.”
Dr. Zacharia explains healing is a multi-layered process of return to self. Ultimately, she emphasizes that healing is about restoration of self-trust, clarity and truth.
Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Nervous System Impact and Spiritual Healing Through Scripture
“I’ve heard from survivors who say that even after years of therapy, they still struggle with rumination. And even when they’ve physically separated from the abuser—and worked through the psychological aspects of the abuse with a therapist—the covert narcissist’s energetic hold still lingers.”
Dr. Zacharia points out the following as the root cause of this incomplete level of healing:
“This is because covert narcissism runs deeper than a personality disorder. As I’ve mentioned before and I will again, it is spiritual warfare.”
She explains that covert narcissistic abuse impacts multiple layers of a person’s being.
“Covert narcissistic abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and psyche—it disrupts your spirit, entangles your energy and warps your sense of self on a soul-deep level. Covert narcissistic abuse literally erodes you to your very core.”
A Multi-Layered Approach to Healing
“To heal from something that has affected you so deeply, it is essential to approach recovery with a multi-layered strategy that addresses every level the covert narcissist disrupted—the psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical layers of your being.”
She explains that full restoration requires integration across all levels of the self.
“Only when all of these layers are addressed can you fully disentangle from their influence and step into a restored, aligned version of yourself.”
Medical Perspective on Physical Symptoms
As an endocrinologist, Dr. Zacharia briefly addresses the physical effects of chronic covert narcissistic abuse. A more in depth conversation from Dr. Zacharia on this topic can be found in episodes 9 and 10 of her podcast series.
“The devastating impacts of such prolonged abuse even extends into your physical health. In some cases, including mine, the chronic stress and internalized conflict triggered by covert abuse can contribute to development of autoimmune conditions.”
“Covert narcissistic abuse can dismantle you so profoundly that even your body begins to perceive its own cells as foreign.”
Dr. Zacharia clarifies that there is no single cause-and-effect relationship. She also reviews genetic and other multifactorial contributors. She emphasizes the importance of medical evaluation and professional care.
“Your healthcare team—whether your primary care provider, endocrinologist, rheumatologist or other specialists—plays a critical role in the coordinated, interdisciplinary approach needed to treat your specific autoimmune condition.”
She notes that even when symptoms seem stress-related rather than autoimmune, they still require evaluation to rule out medical causes.
Once medically identifiable causes have been ruled out, Dr. Zacharia notes these symptoms are common physiological reactions to prolonged stress exposure.
“In many cases, these physiologic stress responses are the underlying cause of symptoms in covert narcissistic abuse survivors in the absence of underlying medical disease.”
Returning to Spiritual Anchoring Through Journaling and Scripture
In this segment of the episode, Dr. Zacharia then transitions into her personal healing experience through journaling and spiritual guidance.
“As I continued journaling, I began to feel a gentle nudge from God, guiding me back to the Bible—a call to open its pages and let His words speak directly into the heart of my healing journey.”
She describes her initial hesitation and eventual reconnection with scripture.
“I hadn’t opened my bible since my college years, and at first, it felt dense and intimidating. But when I switched to the NLT Study Bible, everything changed.”
She explains how scripture became more accessible and personally relevant.
“Suddenly, the Scripture felt practical, relatable and alive—speaking directly into the challenges I was facing.”
“The study notes illuminated key passages, guiding me in a way that felt personal, as if God Himself was walking me through each lesson.”
A Daily Practice of Spiritual Guidance
She describes a ritual of prayerful reading and discernment.
“Each night, after finishing my gratitude and journaling practice, I’d ask God to pick a passage for me to read. Then I’d open up the Bible, reading the passage on the page it opened to.”
Early on in Dr. Zacharia's healing journey, Psalm 55 was one of those passages that repeatedly spoke to her. It resonated deeply, given the betrayal she experienced at the hands of the covert narcissists in her life and their flying monkeys.
In Psalm 55:12–13 (NLT) it states:
It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that.
It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them.
Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend.
Verses 20–21 (NLT) offer additional support for the survivor as well:
As for my companion, he betrayed his friends; he broke his promises.
His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war.
His words are as soothing as lotion, but underneath are daggers!
Then comes the most pivotal part of the Psalm for one's healing journey—verse 22:
Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
While Psalm 55 validated the pain, Psalm 23 introduced the lesson of divine surrender.
“For you are close beside me… Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”
For much of her life, Dr. Zacharia had relied on control and self-reliance.
“I was the sheep attempting to navigate the path… but in reality, I was lost and exhausted.”
Healing required a shift.
“Being a sheep doesn’t mean being weak; it means trusting the Shepherd who knows the terrain.”
This marked a transition from control to trust. From striving to being led.
"Between Psalm 55, which validated the betrayal and gave voice to my pain and Psalm 23, which reminded me of God’s guidance and protection, God was slowly stitching my heart back together. I could feel Him at work, even in moments when I didn’t fully understand how the pieces were coming together."
Surrender, Spiritual Lessons and Healing Through Unexpected Guidance
Yet despite this progress, Dr. Zacharia shares that she did not fully understand the depth of surrender God was asking of her until it was reflected back through an unexpected source.
“Yet despite this progress, I still didn’t completely grasp the depth of surrender God was asking of me—until He emphasized this lesson through an unexpected messenger: my cat, Joey.”
Early in the year, she adopted a second cat, Gabriele, after noticing Joey had become increasingly lonely while she worked longer hours in the suburbs. Shortly after the adoption, Joey became ill after contracting an upper respiratory infection from Gabriele. The illness affected Joey’s ability to smell, which then impacted her appetite.
“The illness left Joey severely congested, and she lost her sense of smell. As I quickly learned, cats who cannot smell their food often refuse to eat—a situation that brought a new layer of worry and urgency into my life.”
Dr. Zacharia describes Joey’s usual personality as deeply food-motivated and consistent.
“For Joey not to eat was unheard of. In the seven years I’d had her, she had never been a picky eater—she literally lived for food.”
She recalls Joey’s typical behavior around feeding time.
“She would even sit in front of her food dispenser and kick the bowl at the bottom if she thought the food wasn’t coming out fast enough.”
Medical Concern and Escalating Attempts to Help
As Joey’s condition deteriorated, multiple veterinary consultations were sought out.
“That week, I took her to multiple vet visits. They ran a battery of tests, but everything came back normal.”
Despite recommended adjustments and interventions, they did not work.
“Her vet suggested warming her food to enhance the smell—but it didn’t work.”
“Then we tried an appetite stimulant—it helped a little but irritated Joey’s ears where it was applied.”
Eventually, steroids were recommended, though Dr. Zacharia felt conflicted due to her medical background.
“Finally, they recommended steroids. As an endocrinologist, the idea of giving Joey steroids without a clear, necessary reason terrified me.”
Joey also resisted treatment.
“And Joey knew it too. She refused the medication entirely.”
Anxiety, Fear and Loss of Control
As Joey’s condition continued, Dr. Zacharia describes escalating concern and fear.
“I knew the clock was ticking. If she didn’t eat or drink soon, she risked kidney issues and quick onset of fatty liver disease, which can lead to liver failure in cats.”
She began closely monitoring Joey’s behavior.
“I became so preoccupied with her lack of food and water intake that I set up a camera by her food and water to see if she was eating when I wasn’t looking. She wasn’t.”
Emotional Collapse and Surrender
After several days of no improvement, she describes reaching an emotional breaking point.
“The hopelessness was overwhelming. I felt like I was failing her, and the weight of not knowing what else to do pressed on me until I couldn’t hold it together anymore.”
That moment became a turning point toward surrender.
“That night, in the quiet stillness, I finally reached the end of myself and surrendered control of the situation.”
She describes a prayer of release and surrender to God in this moment of desperation.
“God, I place Joey in Your hands. I have tried my best to help her, and nothing is working. If it’s her time to go, I accept that as Your will and surrender her to You. If not, please show me what to do.”
She reflects on the broader meaning of that moment.
“In that moment, it wasn’t just about Joey—it was about every place in my life where I had been desperately trying to hold things together on my own.”
A Moment of Spiritual Intervention
After this surrender, she describes an unexpected shift.
“Later that morning, I checked the camera footage—and there they were orbs hovering by her food bowl. Those orbs were angels. And for the first time in days… Joey ate."
"Since then, she has been back to her normal, bowl-kicking self.”
The Lesson of Surrender
Dr. Zacharia reflects on the meaning of the experience.
“The lesson here is clear: healing requires surrender to God.”
She emphasizes the importance of releasing control when efforts are no longer effective. Dr. Zacharia connects this realization back to scripture.
“That’s exactly what Psalm 55:22 had been trying to teach me and Psalm 23 was guiding me to understand.”
She describes how this experience deepened her understanding of spiritual surrender.
“After that experience with Joey, I truly grasped the profound importance of letting go and allowing God to lead.”
She acknowledges the ongoing challenge of control.
“And that’s not to say I didn’t try to take the reins again—I did. But each time, God reminded me that the healing and guidance I needed required surrender, not control.”
She connects this struggle to the psychological aftermath of abuse.
“After covert narcissistic abuse, surrendering control is incredibly challenging. When you’ve spent years—even decades—under someone else’s manipulation, you naturally cling to control in any area where you still have power.”
Integration Into the Healing Journey
Dr. Zacharia concludes the episode by summarizing the key elements of the divine blueprint she used to heal from the inside out.
“This combination of my gratitude practice, journaling, attention to angelic guidance, spiritual symbolism and a deepened relationship with God became key elements of the powerful blueprint I used to heal from covert narcissistic abuse from the inside out.”