Sometimes the first step in healing from covert narcissistic abuse is simply hearing someone say, “this happened to me too.”
2017: Early Enmeshment
Age 35: ongoing covert narcissistic abuse since childhood. 18 years into a friendship with a covert narcissist I met in college and 1 year into a friendship with a coworker, a malignant covert narcissist.
2022: Full Entanglement
Age 40: 23 years into friendship with the college friend covert narcissist and 6 years into friendship with the malignant covert narcissist. At this time, the malignant covert narcissist was deeply enmeshed in my personal and professional life, including my friendship with the college friend covert narcissist.
2024: Collapse and Exit
Age 41: 1 year after going no contact with the college friend covert narcissist and 1 year into gray rocking the malignant covert narcissist in a shared professional environment. Gray rocking escalated the malignant covert narcissist's abuse rather than deterring it. A coordinated smear campaign between both covert narcissists impacted every layer of my life from professional to familial. My Graves disease was severely uncontrolled and I developed complications of thyroid eye disease pictured here.
2026: Divine Restoration
Age 43: 3 years of no contact with the college friend covert narcissist, 2 years of no contact with the malignant covert narcissist and 5 months of no contact with my family. This picture reflects a period of recovery, restoration and full alignment with my God-given divine purpose.
This is my experience with covert narcissistic abuse. In these episodes, I share my firsthand journey through what happened to me, from childhood to my adult relationships. I explore the nuances of covert narcissistic abuse, the escalation of abuse tactics and my struggles with cognitive dissonance that kept me trapped in three covert narcissistic relationships.
This is not only about what happened, but about how it unfolded from a firsthand perspective. The confusion, self-doubt and gradual recognition of patterns that are often difficult to see in real time until you zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
If you are trying to make sense of your own experience with covert narcissistic abuse, you may recognize parts of your journey here. Realizing you are not alone in this can also reveal a much larger pattern of abuse that people are experiencing worldwide. Recognizing that what you experienced is valid and true is often the beginning of clarity, truth and healing.
