In Episode 24 of Unseen but Not Untold: Overcoming Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Dr. Christine C. Zacharia, MD, integrative covert narcissistic abuse recovery expert and board certified endocrinologist, explores what it means to rediscover wonder in the life God has created within us and all around us after covert narcissistic abuse.
Throughout the episode, Dr. Zacharia frames wonder as more than emotion or curiosity. It is awe, awareness and sacred perception—something that deepens as the soul is restored through God’s healing work.
“Wonder is what unfolds when we slow down long enough to truly behold the beauty of God’s creation—both the world around us and the life He is faithfully shaping within us.”
She emphasizes that after covert narcissistic abuse, wonder does not disappear entirely. Instead, it becomes muted under emotional distortion, survival patterns and spiritual exhaustion—but it is never erased.
“It may become blunted during your relationship with a covert narcissist, but it is never absent.”
Wonder Revealed Through Creation and Perspective
A central focus of the episode is how God reveals wonder through creation itself—both on Earth and beyond it.
Dr. Zacharia reflects on humanity’s awe during the recent Artemis II mission and the profound perspective gained from viewing Earth from lunar orbit. She highlights how such moments strip life down to its essence, revealing both fragility and design.
Moments like these, she explains, often stir something universal within humanity:
“Scenes like this can raise questions—about design, order and whether something greater is holding it all together.”
For believers, she notes, these experiences are continued reminders of God’s hand in creation. For others, they awaken curiosity—but for all, they point toward something greater than human control.
She expands this sense of wonder into the natural world—birds in flight, ocean depths that remain to be explored, mountain ranges shaped over time and the intricacy of the human body down to cellular division.
“Wonder at life itself, quite literally unfolding all around us—in breath, in growth, in the ordinary moments that quietly testify to something living, intentional and beautifully sustained.”
The Return of Wonder After Covert Narcissistic Abuse
Dr. Zacharia explains that while covert narcissistic abuse can dull perception and emotional presence, it cannot sever a person’s connection to God or the deeper capacity for awe.
“What I have noticed, however, is that this sense of wonder has dramatically increased.”
She shares that healing restores sensitivity—not just emotionally, but spiritually as well. As closeness to God deepens, even the smallest details of life carry greater meaning and beauty.
This restoration is not immediate but unfolds gradually through separation, healing and renewed spiritual alignment.
“Clarity replaces confusion, stillness replaces inner noise and you begin to recognize that even in your healing, God has been steady and present all along.”
Travel, Autonomy and the Reawakening of the Soul
In this episode, Dr. Zacharia shares some of her travel experiences where her sense of wonder re-emerged and how it became increasingly accessible after covert narcissistic abuse.
She recounts a road trip along the Pacific Coast Highway, particularly through Big Sur. She vividly describes her profound encounter with God's creation—where cliffs, ocean and sky converge in breathtaking scale and beauty. She reflects on the sensory and emotional impact of that landscape, where the coastline seems to constantly shift between revelation and concealment, drawing the observer into a deeper awareness of God’s creation.
“The coastline becomes wilder, the cliffs more jagged and dramatic...the Pacific Ocean stretches endlessly…like a living, breathing horizon that shifts with light, wind and tide.”
She emphasizes that moments like these are not just visually striking, but spiritually formative—because they reawaken a sense of awe that trauma and distortion suppress over time. In these spaces, wonder is not manufactured; it returns naturally as perception clears.
Dr. Zacharia later reflects on a solo trip she took to Italy.
"Then there was my first solo trip abroad to Italy, nine months after I had gone no contact with Levi. It also marked a moment of much needed reprieve from the escalating abuse I was experiencing at work from Jessie, the malignant covert narcissist, as a result of gray rocking her in our shared workspace."
She takes this moment to underscore the importance of privacy, protecting one's joy from potential sabotage and disruption at the hands of the covert narcissist.
“What they don’t know about, they cannot sabotage. And my silence paid off.”
Solo travel, she explains, restores autonomy after relational environments marked by emotional control and hypervigilance.
“It gives you space to breathe without absorbing anyone else’s emotional state.”
She further describes how this autonomy is not merely external freedom, but internal recalibration. When a person has lived in a constant state of emotional scanning—anticipating reactions, managing tension and adjusting behavior for safety—even joy becomes monitored rather than fully experienced. Solo travel interrupts that internalized pattern.
“You choose where to go, what to see, how long to stay and what to take in without explanation or permission.”
In Italy, she reflects on this restoration through lived experience:
- savoring simple, unadulterated ingredients.
- experiencing beauty without emotional interference.
- rediscovering presence in ordinary moments.
These experiences became symbolic of a deeper shift—where life was no longer filtered through survival, but received with openness and gratitude.
Dr. Zacharia shares her travel experiences as part of a broader spiritual and psychological restoration, where wonder, autonomy and peace return in tandem under God’s healing work.
Dolce Far Niente and the Art of Being
While reflecting on her trip to Italy, Dr. Zacharia introduces the concept of dolce far niente—the sweetness of doing nothing.
"Dolce far niente was the line of this trip—the sweetness of doing nothing. That line is a beautiful life motto embraced by many Italians in that region."
She describes this not as inactivity, but as restoration:
“There is so much delight to be experienced in the art of simply being.”
This state becomes symbolic of healing itself—where striving slows, nervous system regulation returns and life is truly relished.
In this space, Dr. Zacharia explains, wonder deepens naturally. Presence becomes the pathway to healing. Simplicity becomes sacred again.
Wonder in the Everyday and the Nervous System’s Restoration
In this episode, Dr. Zacharia also emphasizes that wonder is not limited to extraordinary experiences. It is often found in the ordinary moments of healing and daily life.
Dr. Zacharia describes how healing may appear in subtle ways:
- a calmer nervous system upon waking
- reduced anxiety in conversation
- unexpected peace in previously triggering environments
- moments of laughter without fear of consequence
“These moments begin to accumulate. What once felt rare becomes more familiar.”
She frames these experiences as evidence of internal restoration—where the body, mind and spirit are no longer operating in survival mode but in receptivity.
"Living in a state of wonder day to day allows you to slow down enough to recognize and receive the gifts God places in your life—many of which are unexpected. And the more you grow in that awareness, the more you begin to notice these moments and in a sense, become more receptive to them in your everyday life. You are no longer living under the weight of constant anxiety, reactivity or emotional entanglement, but stepping into the life God has always desired for you."
Biblical Wonder and the Works of God
Dr. Zacharia grounds the concept of wonder in Scripture, pointing to God’s miraculous works throughout the bible.
She references, the parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14:21–22), Jesus walking on water (Matthew 14:25–27) and the raising of Lazarus from the dead (John 11:43–44).
"Think about the moment God parted the Red Sea for the Israelites escaping the captivity of Egypt."
"Imagine for a moment being there, witnessing that moment unfold before your eyes. Imagine how the Israelites felt walking through a scenario that is humanly impossible but not impossible for God."
"Think about when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead—something even to this day that is impossible for us to comprehend, but not for God."
She emphasizes that while believers may not witness identical miracles today, they are still invited to recognize God’s ongoing work in ways that transcend human explanation.
Psalm 111:2 (NLT) is used to reinforce this perspective:
“How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them.”
Symbolism: The Owl and the Feather
Dr. Zacharia introduces two symbolic expressions of wonder as part of the episode’s spiritual reflection.
The Owl
The owl represents heightened spiritual perception—clarity emerging in stillness and the ability to see beyond confusion that often lingers after covert narcissistic abuse.
The owl, Dr. Zacharia explains, is not rushed or reactive. It embodies stillness and watchful clarity—the kind of awareness that does not need noise or external validation to recognize truth. Even the way the owl rotates its head 270 degrees to take in the world around it demonstrates such wonder.
"That is part of what the owl represents: awakened sight that does not rush to explain but first allows you to see."
It reflects those moments in healing when something within begins to shift and understanding arrives not through force but through revelation.
“A quiet inner knowing that settles over you so deeply it almost silences everything else.”
This inner knowing, she emphasizes, often interrupts confusion rather than slowly reasoning it away. It arrives with a sense of finality and clarity that reorganizes perception from within.
In the context of healing from covert narcissistic abuse, this becomes especially significant—because discernment is often rebuilt slowly after periods of chronic gaslighting, emotional inversion and self-doubt.
The Feather
The feather represents a different but complementary expression of wonder—subtle awareness of God’s nearness that is gentle, easily missed, yet deeply grounding.
Unlike the owl, which symbolizes perception and discernment, the feather symbolizes presence, reassurance and stillness that settles the internal world. It does not overwhelm or demand attention.
“It does not announce itself. It appears gently, almost unexpectedly and for a brief moment, everything else fades into the background.”
Dr. Zacharia emphasizes that this kind of moment is often overlooked precisely because of its simplicity. Yet, it is in this simplicity that its power resides—because it does not compete with thought or emotion. It interrupts internal noise not by force, but by peace.
The feather becomes symbolic of those moments in healing when the nervous system begins to settle and the soul begins to recognize safety again—not because circumstances are perfect but because something within has shifted into stillness.
“There is a stillness that follows it—not because you are trying to be still but because something in you has been steadied.”
She highlights that even small, ordinary encounters can carry this weight of meaning—a quiet reassurance that God is present, attentive and near in ways that do not always require explanation.
“It can feel like being gently reminded that you are not alone, even if nothing around you has changed.”
Together, the owl and feather represent two dimensions of wonder that emerge in the healing journey after covert narcissistic abuse: awakened sight and quiet peace. One restores clarity where confusion once existed; the other restores stillness where internal noise once dominated. One interrupts distortion with truth; the other interrupts unrest with presence.
In this dual symbolism, Dr. Zacharia frames wonder not as a single emotional state, but as a layered restoration—where both perception and peace are gradually rebuilt under God’s healing work, allowing the individual to see clearly and rest deeply once again.
Returning to Wonder as Part of Healing
Dr. Zacharia emphasizes that wonder is not lost through trauma or abuse—it is something that can be returned to, often in a deeper and more profound form.
“Wonder is not something we lose—it is something we return to.”
This return to wonder becomes part of a larger spiritual unfolding—where life is no longer viewed through survival, but through presence, clarity and renewed connection with God.
“And that is part of what healing from covert narcissistic abuse encompasses—the return of wonder.”
“That state of wonder was never gone. It was simply waiting for you to return to it more fully than ever before.”