In Episode 26 of Unseen but Not Untold: Overcoming Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Dr. Christine C. Zacharia, MD, integrative covert narcissistic abuse recovery expert and board certified endocrinologist, explores the spiritual importance of rest, surrender and divine timing after covert narcissistic abuse.
Throughout the episode, Dr. Zacharia challenges the deeply ingrained belief that healing, success and divine purpose are achieved through constant striving. Instead, she presents rest as a foundational part of God’s design for His chosen ones—particularly for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse who have spent years functioning in survival mode, hypervigilance and emotional overdrive.
From the outset, Dr. Zacharia frames the need for rest as a spiritual correction and a divine invitation. Many survivors, especially those actively walking in their God-given calling, have unknowingly carried exhaustion into their purpose.
“There are some—perhaps many—of you walking in your divine purpose right now who are burning the candle at both ends.”
Rather than encouraging listeners to work harder, produce more or force outcomes, she explains that God is calling survivors into stillness instead.
“Because the purpose He placed inside of you was never meant to be sustained by exhaustion.”
Survival Mode, Hypervigilance and the Fear of Rest
One of the central themes throughout the episode is the way covert narcissistic abuse conditions survivors to associate worth with performance and productivity.
“As survivors of covert narcissistic abuse, many of us were conditioned to believe that our worth comes through overfunctioning. Through proving. Through performing.”
Dr. Zacharia explains that covert narcissistic abuse rewires the nervous system into constant anticipation of danger. Over time, rest itself can begin to feel threatening.
“Stillness can feel unfamiliar. Even unsafe.”
She describes how survivors frequently develop patterns of hyper-independence as protective survival mechanisms. These patterns may continue long after the abusive relationship has ended.
“You may feel pressure to always be doing something, fixing something, solving something or proving something.”
Dr. Zacharia draws a sharp distinction between trauma-driven striving and God-centered obedience. Throughout the discussion, she emphasizes that God does not demand exhaustion in order to prove worthiness or love.
“God already knows your worth because He is the One who created you.”
Rest as Spiritual Surrender and Alignment
A major spiritual theme woven throughout the episode is that rest is not laziness. Dr. Zacharia frames rest as a form of surrender, trust and alignment with God’s timing.
She explains that many survivors continue attempting to control outcomes because survival mode taught them that safety depended entirely on their own effort and vigilance. But healing requires learning to release that constant burden of control.
“When God leads the way, you no longer have to live as though everything depends entirely on you.”
Dr. Zacharia also connects this directly to the example of Jesus conquering sin through His death on the cross.
“The greatest battle ever positioned against humanity was not conquered through worldly power, control or domination.”
Rather than conquering through force, she explains Jesus defeated sin through surrender and sacrifice. He conquered sin through His death on the cross.
“He overcame as the spotless sacrificial Lamb.”
This becomes one of the defining paradoxes of the episode: God’s Kingdom often operates opposite to worldly systems. In a culture that glorifies hustle, urgency and constant productivity, Dr. Zacharia presents stillness and surrender as spiritually transformative acts of faith.
“Because rest, in the hands of God, is not weakness.”
Rest Beyond the Physical Body
Throughout the episode, Dr. Zacharia broadens the definition of rest beyond physical recuperation alone.
“Rest is not just physical. It reaches spiritual places, emotional layers and mental space that exhaustion has been occupying for too long.”
She describes practical examples of restorative behaviors that reconnect survivors with peace, nervous system regulation and spiritual clarity:
- Taking slow walks without pressure to remain productive
- Disconnecting from constant stimulation and digital overwhelm
- Prioritizing sleep and physical recovery
- Setting boundaries without guilt
- Releasing the need to remain constantly available to others
"And for all of us, rest includes spending intentional time with God—simply sitting in the quiet of His presence, praying honestly and reading Scripture at a pace that nourishes your spirit instead of rushing through it out of obligation."
Dr. Zacharia emphasizes that rest will look different for each individual depending on their season of life and current spiritual walk.
She also dismantles the cultural belief that exhaustion automatically reflects obedience or discipline.
“Urgency is not always wisdom and exhaustion is not always obedience.”
The Wilderness Season and Hyper-Independence
Dr. Zacharia devotes significant attention to the “wilderness season” survivors encounter after healing from covert narcissistic abuse.
“In fact, part of the wilderness season that often follows healing from covert narcissistic abuse is learning how to fully lean into God again.”
Reflecting on her own journey, Dr. Zacharia shares how difficult surrender initially felt within her relationship with God.
“For me, this was one of the most challenging parts of my own wilderness journey.”
She describes how deeply self-reliant she had become out of necessity and how relinquishing control initially felt dangerous.
“Surrendering that level of control felt like I was walking into a line of fire.”
Yet over time, she explains that dependence on God revealed itself not as vulnerability to destruction, but as true stability and protection.
“With God, you are not walking into a line of fire—you are stepping onto something steady.”
Divine Redirection and the Limits of Human Striving
One of the most personal sections of the episode centers around Dr. Zacharia’s own experiences attempting to force growth within her purpose before fully surrendering to God’s direction.
She recalls a period roughly one year earlier, after releasing the TFM Transformation Course, when she became discouraged by the pace of visible results.
“Because I was focused on what I thought should be happening, I started trying to force solutions.”
This led her to develop a group-centered coaching format with weekly sessions. However, despite her efforts, the direction failed to prosper due to God's intervention.
“Not only did that direction fail to prosper, He blocked it completely.”
“What I was attempting to build came out of my own understanding.”
She reflects on a recurring pattern throughout her life in which God prevented paths that were misaligned with His assignment for her.
“When something was not aligned with God’s direction for me, He would block it.”
Later that year God redirected her to create the “Do Not Be Afraid” 1:1 coaching series, which better aligned with the unique calling and healing journey of each individual survivor.
“He was leading me into something more discerning, more aligned and more individualized.”
This section becomes a broader lesson about surrendering human timelines and expectations in favor of divine timing and alignment.
“Anything you try to do without His blessing in relation to your divine purpose will not succeed.”
"Yes, this tough love has been given to me as well. But remember, this is for our collective higher good. It is part of the vision He holds—to bring back our light on a massive scale in a time when the world deeply needs it. That is what this mass spiritual awakening is about."
Divine Timing and Faith Before Sight
A recurring message throughout the episode is that God’s timing unfolds differently from human expectations.
“So when you don’t see things working out when and how you want them to, it doesn’t mean you are failing at your divine purpose.”
Dr. Zacharia emphasizes that divine timing is intentional rather than accidental.
“As Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) reminds us, ‘There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.’”
She explains that seasons of inactivity, slowing down or apparent delay are invitations into deeper restoration, trust and spiritual alignment rather than signs of abandonment.
This theme ultimately expands into a larger discussion of faith itself.
“For with God, you must believe before you will see.”
Referencing Jesus’ ministry throughout Scripture, Dr. Zacharia notes how Jesus frequently asked individuals whether they believed before miracles occurred. Such faith is imperative in God steering the course of one's divine purpose as well.
Jesus, Elijah and the Biblical Model of Rest
Dr. Zacharia reinforces her message by examining multiple biblical examples where rest and restoration preceded continued assignment.
She notes that even Jesus Himself regularly withdrew from crowds and ministry demands to pray and rest.
“Jesus did not model constant output.”
Referencing Mark and Luke she highlights how Jesus intentionally prioritized solitude, prayer and replenishment despite the immense demands of His ministry.
In Mark 6:31 (NLT), Jesus tells His disciples:
“Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”
In Luke 5:15-16 (NLT):
"But despite Jesus’ instructions, the report of his power spread even faster, and vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases.But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”
She also examines the story of Elijah following intense spiritual warfare and emotional depletion after confronting the prophets of Baal.
“Elijah becomes so depleted that he asks God to take his life.”
Rather than immediately demanding further work or endurance, God first provided food, water, sleep and restoration through angelic care.
1 Kings 19: 5-6 (NLT) highlights this pivotal moment of rest in Elijah's journey:
"Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again."
This becomes another key spiritual principle throughout the episode: God often restores His chosen ones before advancing them further into assignment.
"Rather than immediately addressing Elijah with further instruction to keep plowing forward, God met him in his depletion and provided the physical and emotional restoration he needed to continue in his assignment."
This moment reveals something essential for anyone walking in their God-given purpose: rest is what sustains you. It brings you back into clarity. It protects you from burnout disguised as obedience. And it ensures that what you are building is being carried by God—not forced through human depletion.
"Because ultimately, rest is an act of trust in God’s overarching plan for your life and how He will use you as a vessel of His divine truth."
Rest as Protection, Clarity and Spiritual Recalibration
As the episode progresses, Dr. Zacharia reframes rest not as a detour from divine purpose, but as one of the ways God preserves and strengthens it.
“Rest is not optional when navigating your life purpose; it is foundational.”
She explains that rest restores clarity, sharpens discernment and regulates the nervous system after prolonged exposure to fear, urgency and spiritual warfare.
“Rest is where your nervous system settles.”
“You cannot meet those moments from exhaustion. You meet them from alignment and inner peace.”
“What God assigns, He also sustains.”
Walking in Trust and Divine Timing
As the episode concludes, Dr. Zacharia encourages listeners to view seasons of slowing down not as punishment or stagnation, but as invitations into restoration and deeper alignment with God.
“So anytime you are met with a lull or inactivity, view this as God’s invitation.”
She reminds survivors that God sees the larger picture beyond human understanding and knows precisely how to position His chosen ones for their purpose within the larger body of Christ.
“Take this opportunity to rest, as this too is part of what it means to walk as God’s chosen one.”