In Episode 12 of Unseen but Not Untold: Overcoming Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Dr. Christine C. Zacharia, MD, integrative covert narcissistic abuse recovery expert and board certified endocrinologist, explores how healing from covert narcissistic abuse is not simply about survival but about awakening to the divine purpose God placed within each individual long before the abuse began.
She explains that survivors were targeted by the covert narcissistic not because they were weak but because they carry light, discernment, empathy and purpose.
“You weren’t targeted because you were weak. You weren’t targeted because you were ‘too much.’ You were targeted because you are bright, sensitive and awake.”
“The enemy recognized your purpose long before you did.”
For survivors, the journey out of covert narcissistic abuse is first met with devastation. The life they once knew collapses, relationships shift, identity fractures and long-held beliefs no longer fit. Yet beneath that destruction, she describes something deeper taking place: a spiritual awakening.
The Spiritual Warfare Behind Covert Narcissistic Abuse
Dr. Zacharia revisits the concept of covert narcissistic abuse as one part of the larger scale spiritual warfare that is happening on this planet.
“The spiritual warfare on this planet is real — and covert narcissistic abuse is one expression of that larger battle.”
She reminds survivors that they bear God-given gifts that threatened destructive forces long before they recognized their own value.
“You are a trailblazer. A generational cycle breaker. A leader in your own right.”
God’s Timing and Hidden Gifts
A central theme of the episode is divine timing. Dr. Zacharia explains that many survivors spend years disconnected from their gifts not because those gifts are absent but because they were hidden for protection.
“For most of you, your gifts were intentionally hidden — not because you were unworthy, but because the timing was not right.”
She references Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT) to solidify this point:
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Healing and awakening unfold gradually rather than instantly.
“Healing from covert narcissistic abuse isn’t a moment. It’s a journey.”
She emphasizes that the journey itself prepares survivors for their calling.
“It’s not about rushing to the destination — it’s about allowing the journey to shape you into someone who can thrive there.”
God’s Refinement Through Destruction
Reflecting on her own life, Dr. Zacharia describes how her understanding of her purpose evolved.
“If you had asked me three years ago what my purpose was on this planet, I would have never guessed it would look like this.”
She once believed medicine alone defined her calling.
“I would’ve told you my purpose was to be a physician — to help others heal from hormonal disorders and to guide future generations of doctors.”
However, after experiencing covert narcissistic abuse and spiritual transformation, she recognized a deeper truth.
God’s Fingerprint and the Calling to Stand Apart
Dr. Zacharia reframes the survivor's experience of not fitting in as something intentional rather than coincidental.
“And that’s not a flaw— that’s God’s fingerprint.”
She emphasizes that her individuality is not a mistake but a form of divine design that reflects purpose and calling.
“He created me this way on purpose. Just as He created you to be different.”
Within this framework, feelings of not belonging are not interpreted as rejection but as alignment with a higher purpose.
“So if you feel like you don’t fit in— that’s by divine design and reflects your higher calling.”
Dr. Zacharia explains that conformity is not the goal of those who are called into deeper purpose or leadership.
“We are not meant to be chameleons.”
Instead, she describes a life of meaning, courage and transformation that requires standing outside of societal expectation.
“We are here to bring about meaningful and profound change.”
She points to historical figures as examples of individuals who did not conform to prevailing norms but instead reshaped them through conviction and purpose.
“And if you look at the major leaders in the world who have brought positive change, they do not fit the mold. Look at Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.”
These individuals, she explains, did not accept societal norms when those norms conflicted with justice and truth. Their leadership is characterized not only by resistance to injustice but by a deeper moral clarity.
“They led with love, courage and a fierce refusal to accept anything less than justice.”
Dr. Zacharia concludes by reframing this same truth as something personal and applicable to survivors navigating their own healing and awakening.
“And as overwhelming as it may sound for you to accept, this is also your truth.”
Pain as Refinement and Divine Reconstruction
Dr. Zacharia discusses what the covert narcissist targeted in the survivor are their greatest source of their strength.
“They targeted your wounds — the most empathetic parts of your personality — because those are the parts that carry light.”
“They attacked what made you sensitive, what made you human, what made you able to love.”
Within this framework, what was once used as an entry point for harm is reinterpreted as evidence of inherent light and capacity for love.
Dr. Zacharia then shifts the focus toward spiritual reframing and restoration.
“But here is where God wants you to shift your gaze: He doesn’t want your pain to be your prison. He wants your pain to be your refinement.”
She emphasizes that this process is not rooted in destruction or hopelessness but in rebuilding and transformation through divine intention.
“This isn’t sadism. This isn’t a life sentence of defeat. This is God rebuilding you — piece by piece — on a foundation that can never be shaken.”
Addressing a common question survivors often hold, she acknowledges the tension between divine agency and human suffering.
“And I know some of you may be thinking: ‘Couldn’t God have done this without the covert narcissist?’”
She responds with a nuanced reflection on growth and refinement.
“The answer is yes… and no. Yes — because He planted the fire inside you to rise above it, to heal, to grow, to step into your purpose. But no — because without being tested in the fire, you wouldn’t have become refined.”
To illustrate this process, she uses metaphors of pressure and transformation found in nature and craftsmanship.
“Think about a diamond. It is formed under pressure. It becomes one of the most precious stones because of what it endured.”
“Think about a sword. Ot is forged in the fire. Without the heat, it would never become powerful enough to serve its purpose.”
From this perspective, suffering is not portrayed as meaningless but as formative.
“Your pain is not wasted. It is part of your testimony.”
Dr. Zacharia then clarifies her mission within the broader narrative of the episode.
“My purpose is to awaken you to your truth so you can bring about impactful change. God is using me as a vessel to remind you of His presence, His truth, and the way He has been guiding you to this moment all along.”
“I’m here to shine light into the corners where darkness has been hiding your story — your truth and God’s truth.”
Reclaiming God From Distortion
A key focus of the episode is reclaiming God from distorted teachings.
“Religious covert narcissists — and other people with self-serving agendas — have weaponized God’s core teachings.”
She draws a distinction between manipulation and divine truth.
“That is not God. That is not Jesus.”
“God is not the author of confusion. God is truth. God is light.”
Anything rooted in fear, control or self-abandonment is not aligned with God’s nature.
“God’s voice is meant to set you free.”
Divine Design, Discernment and the Integration of Purpose
In this section of the episode, Dr. Zacharia reflects on how her interests, training and life experiences were not random but part of a larger divine design that prepared her for healing and her divine purpose.
Philosophy
“He gave me discernment from a young age — the ability to question what is accepted simply because it’s routine.”
“He gave me the courage to shine light on what others prefer stays in the dark.”
“He gave me the ability to see beyond the surface — to ask the questions that make people uncomfortable.”
She reflects on early questioning of authority and belief systems as part of this pattern.
“I can’t tell you the number of times I questioned the teachings of the Catholic Church to my mother’s dismay.”
Her academic path in philosophy now appears meaningful in hindsight.
“Now, looking back, I understand why I majored in philosophy in college.”
“It was one of the gifts God wanted me to nurture — even before I was aware of it.”
She explains that philosophy and metaphysics shaped her ability to question reality itself.
“My favorite topic in philosophy was metaphysics — the branch that asks the big questions about the fundamental nature of reality, existence and the world.”
“It goes beyond what science can measure and asks: What is real? Why is there something rather than nothing?”
She references René Descartes and connects his famous statement to her experience after abuse.
“He’s known for saying, ‘Cogito ergo sum’ — ‘I think, therefore I am.’”
“And in a way, that statement became deeply personal for me — because after covert narcissistic abuse, your reality gets distorted so much that you begin to question the reality of your own existence.”
She explains that this questioning relates to identity and self-perception rather than literal existence.
“Not in a literal sense — but in the sense of your identity, your truth, and your sense of self.”
Looking back, she now sees this intellectual foundation as preparation for her healing journey and ultimately, divine purpose.
“It was God preparing me to rebuild myself from the ground up — to reclaim the truth of who I am.”
Endocrinology
She also reflects on her training as an endocrinologist as part of God's divine plan for her life purpose.
“Endocrinology is the branch of medicine that deals with hormones and the glands that produce them — like the thyroid, adrenal glands, and pituitary.”
This training, she explains, helped her understand trauma physiology in great detail. Additionally, she was equipped to understand the nature of her autoimmune thyroid disease as it pertained to the etiology of covert narcissistic abuse.
“These are real physiological responses to trauma, driven largely by hormones.”
“We are not dealing with imagination. We are dealing with a trauma response. We are dealing with biology.”
Eastern Philosophies/Traditions
Dr. Zacharia also notes her early exposure to Eastern frameworks through her South Asian upbringing, which shaped her integrative approach to healing. She was exposed to the concept of chakras at a young age.
"And as for chakras and energy movement — which I’ve discussed in past episodes — that’s not something I learned in medical school. Western trained physicians do not talk about chakras unless they have also been exposed to Eastern traditions."
"I grew up in a South Asian household and I was exposed to this language early on. In fact there was a book on Ayurvedic medicine on my parents living room coffee table that I flipped through in my childhood where I first learned about chakras."
"Integrating Eastern philosophies with Western medicine felt natural to me for this very reason."
She recounts her background to help listeners understand that nothing in their lives happens by mere happenstance or coincidence.
“The reason I’m telling you all of this is simple: there are no coincidences.”
“Everything placed in your path — your interests, your hobbies, your seemingly random curiosities — ties into the greater scale of your purpose.”
She reflects that clarity on this came gradually through healing.
“These were truths God revealed to me gradually as I was healing.And the moment everything finally clicked into place happened when I sat down to record this podcast series.”
“And yes, that was not a coincidence either.”
Isolation, Pruning and Divine Redirection
As survivors awaken, many experience isolation. Relationships shift and identities dissolve.
“In this space of isolation, God is pruning you and refining you.”
Though painful, this process leads to clarity and peace.
“You are in the comfort of your own peace rather than lonely in a relationship where you were unseen and unheard.”
She describes leaving behind an older version of herself.
“I could no longer pretend to be someone I was not.”
“I had cultivated a level of self-love that far exceeded my former life of self-sacrifice.”
Referencing John 15:2, Dr. Zacharia confirms the need for pruning in one's life as they heal from covert narcissistic abuse.
“Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”
Pruning is reframed as preparation, not punishment.
“God removes what is dead or misaligned, not to punish you but to make room for what is true.”
She illustrates this with a bonsai tree that lost all its leaves during her own season of change. Though it appeared lifeless, it eventually regenerated after pruning.
"And in that stillness, I realized what the bonsai represented. It wasn’t just a tree. It was my old network of relationships — the connections that had shaped my identity, my sense of belonging, my version of normal. When those connections fell away, it felt like I’d lost everything. But the root remained."
"The core of the tree — the essence of who it was — stayed intact."
This is the truth Dr. Zacharia emphasizes about the survivor's own pruning season. God removes what is dead or misaligned, not to punish the survivor…but to make room for what is true in their lives.
The Story of Job and Rebuilding Through God
Dr. Zacharia references the story of Job as a powerful example of restoration through suffering.
Job experiences profound suffering, losing his wealth, his family, his health and his reputation. His life is stripped down to its most vulnerable foundation and he is tested in ways that feel unimaginable.
Despite this devastation, Job does not turn away from God. Even without understanding the reason for his suffering, he remains anchored in faith. His story illustrates what it looks like to hold onto belief when circumstances offer no clarity or immediate resolution.
In the end, Job’s restoration is not simply a return to his previous life. It is an expansion beyond it.
“Job’s story isn’t about a quick fix. It’s not a one-and-done moment of relief. It’s a long, painful process that leads to a deeper transformation — the kind that only comes when God rebuilds you from the inside out.”
God as the Source of Inner Transformation
Dr. Zacharia explains that true transformation is not only behavioral or emotional but deeply spiritual in nature, rooted in divine support and guidance. I
Reflecting on her own journey, she notes how easy it is during active recovery to become overwhelmed by immediate circumstances and lose sight of the broader arc of healing.
When looking back at earlier photos from her healing journey, she describes being struck by the extent of change, not only externally but at a deeper internal level that reflects soul-level transformation.
She attributes this change not to willpower but to divine intervention and support throughout the process of recovery.
“I did not come this far by my own strength. This was through God’s providence, protection, strength and renewal. Through the unrelenting support of His angels.”
In her reflection, she describes healing as a process of internal nourishment that allowed her to recover after prolonged trauma.
“God nourished my soul so I could heal from the inside out — even after the destructive path of not one, but three covert narcissists.”
She also reflects on the contrast between her former and present sense of self. The version of herself that existed earlier in life, she explains, was shaped by weak boundaries, self-abandonment and the need for external validation.
“The person I once was… I do not miss her.”
In contrast, she describes her current and emerging identity as one grounded in truth, resilience and divine purpose.
"And the woman I am becoming? She is built on truth, resilience and divine purpose.”
She also highlights the connection between internal healing and external transformation, noting that emotional and spiritual restoration often becomes visible in physical expression, presence and energy.
“What you heal on the inside will manifest on the outside. The transformation of the soul becomes visible in your face, your posture, your energy, your presence.”
" You did not merely survive covert narcissistic abuse. You were refined and made into something new. That’s the power of alchemizing pain into power, strength and unshakable light."
"No — not everyone is cut out for this. But if you’re still here…If you’re still listening…Then God is reminding you that: You are chosen. You are not finished. You are not forgotten."
Forgiveness and Spiritual Freedom
Dr. Zacharia revisits the theme of forgiveness from Episode 11 and explains its central role in healing, spiritual alignment and the activation of divine purpose.
She emphasizes that forgiveness is not separate from healing but foundational to it, especially for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse who are rebuilding identity and restoring connection with God.
She first clarifies that mainstream interpretations of forgiveness often miss its deeper spiritual meaning and can unintentionally reinforce self-abandonment rather than healing. For this reason, she encourages listeners to revisit the previous episode as it establishes the direct spiritual foundation for what comes next.
“When you follow the trifecta I shared there— where you release the anger, hand over the spiritual debt of the covert narcissist to God, and turning to God for nourishment and support—you reclaim what was stolen from you.”
Through this process, she explains, individuals begin to recover more than emotional relief. They reclaim attention, energy and internal authority that had been fragmented through abuse.
God asked Dr. Zacharia to remind listeners of this truth as well:
“Do not sever the path of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not meant for the covert narcissist. It is meant for you.”
Holding onto anger, she explains, can slowly shift into resentment and eventually emotional states that disconnect individuals from divine alignment.
Fear and Alignment
Dr. Zacharia explains that the revelation of purpose is not always experienced as immediate empowerment. Instead, it can surface as emotional weight, uncertainty or fear, especially for those whose visibility has previously been punished or suppressed.
“Sometimes it feels heavy. Sometimes it feels scary. Sometimes it feels like too much.”
She reframes this experience by emphasizing that the weight of calling is not a sign of danger but of meaning.
“But that does not mean you are doing it wrong. It means what you carry is sacred—and it matters that much.”
Within this framework, Dr. Zacharia explains that God is not only revealing gifts but actively entrusting them to individuals who are being prepared for their next level of purpose.
“God is not only revealing these gifts to you—He is entrusting them to you. He is placing them in your hands because He knows you are ready.”
She also addresses the role of fear in moments of spiritual transition. Rather than interpreting fear as a warning sign of danger or misalignment, she reframes it as something that often appears at the threshold of growth.
“Fear often shows up right before alignment.”
She distinguishes between fear that signals danger and fear that arises during transformation, describing the latter as an internal response to stepping into unfamiliar identity and responsibility.
Dr. Zacharia references Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) as confirmation of God's walk with the survivor in this leg of their journey:
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
She emphasizes that divine support is constant and that individuals are not meant to navigate their calling or healing alone. In this view, strength is not defined by forcing progress but by allowing oneself to be supported throughout the process.
“Strength does not come from forcing your way through. It comes from allowing yourself to be held as you move forward.”
Dr. Zacharia further explains that this dynamic is especially significant for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse, for whom visibility and self-expression may have previously been met with punishment, invalidation or fear-based conditioning.
Stepping into gifts and purpose can therefore activate deep nervous system responses rooted in past experiences.
This is where she highlights the intersection of psychological healing and spiritual development. While the spirit may feel ready for expansion, the body may still be learning safety.
“Your spirit may be ready — but your body is still learning that it’s safe to be seen.”
She also emphasizes the nature of God’s approach during this process, describing it as gentle, patient and non-coercive.
“He does not rush healing. He does not shame fear. He does not demand perfection.”
To further illustrate this, she references Matthew 11:29–30 (NLT):
“Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
She also references Matthew 17:20 (NLT):
“For truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Within this teaching, she emphasizes that even small faith is sufficient for movement, transformation and spiritual alignment.
Remembrance, Identity and Returning to Truth
At this stage in the episode, Dr. Zacharia reflects on the meaning of Jesus’ words at the Last Supper and how they can be understood through the lens of healing from covert narcissistic abuse.
She begins with the moment where Jesus shares bread and wine with His disciples and says, “Do this in remembrance of me.”
She notes that in her upbringing within the Catholic tradition, this moment carried profound sacred significance, particularly through the understanding of the Eucharist and the concept of transubstantiation, where the Eucharistic host is believed to become the body and blood of Christ.
"I name this not to debate the theology or symbolism of the Eucharist — which differs across Christian traditions — but to look at Jesus’ comment from a different angle as well - one that is extra meaningful for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse."
Remembrance, she explains, is not only about devotion or ritual observance but about returning to truth. It is an invitation to reconnect with an understanding of worth that was never meant to be earned or proven, but established through divine love and restoration.
This becomes especially significant in the context of covert narcissistic abuse, where survivors are often conditioned to associate love with performance, approval and conditional acceptance.
Covert narcissistic abuse, she explains, distorts core beliefs about identity and connection. It teaches individuals that love must be earned, safety must be maintained through compliance, and worth must be continuously validated through external approval.
In contrast, she reframes Jesus’ sacrifice as embodying the opposite truth: that love is unconditional, worth is inherent and connection with God is not dependent on performance or self-contortion.
She explains that when this truth begins to take root internally, healing shifts from self-repair to remembrance.
Healing becomes less about fixing what is broken and more about returning to what was never lost.
“Do this in remembrance of me” is therefore reframed as an invitation into spiritual restoration and reunion with one’s true self, which she describes as already known, already held and already beloved in the eyes of God.
"That’s what 'Do this in remembrance of me' invites us into — reunion with our true, authentic selves."
She concludes the episode by reassuring listeners that healing is a process of unfolding rather than becoming something new.
“You are not alone. You are not delayed in your healing process. And most importantly, you are not broken.”
Dr. Zacharia emphasizes that connection with God is central to this transformation. She concludes that as this relationship deepens, individuals become more attuned to God’s voice, which brings clarity, grounding and alignment over time.