In Episode 17 of Unseen but Not Untold: Overcoming Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Dr. Christine C. Zacharia, MD, integrative covert narcissistic abuse recovery expert and board certified endocrinologist, discusses the wilderness season that follows healing from covert narcissistic abuse. She starts off the episode by recounting her journey through the pain.
“What was meant to silence and diminish me became the catalyst for a deeper intimacy with Him and a powerful revelation of my divine purpose.”
She also explores why God leads His chosen ones through a wilderness season following their recovery from covert narcissistic abuse.
“It’s His divine boot camp — designed to prepare you with the tools you need for your calling and purpose.”
The Devastation of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
Anyone who has lived through covert narcissistic abuse knows the agony of being intentionally misunderstood and systematically gaslighted. Dr. Zacharia explains that covert narcissistic abuse is far more than psychological turmoil — it is a calculated dismantling of a person’s identity and reality.
“It is a calculated unraveling. A strategic dismantling of your identity and your sense of reality. And at times, it is so disorienting it feels almost paralyzing — like you’re watching your own life collapse in slow motion, powerless to stop it.”
She speaks candidly about the depth of betrayal survivors experience, not only from the covert narcissist, but from those who unknowingly believed the false narrative created against them.
“And the betrayal cuts deeper than words can explain. It’s not just the covert narcissist. It’s the people who believed them. The ones you once loved. The ones you respected. The ones you thought knew your heart.”
That level of betrayal is not just painful — it is life-altering. The aftermath reaches into every aspect of a survivor’s life, impacting professional identity, personal relationships, emotional well-being and spiritual connection.
“The aftermath doesn’t merely wound you — it dismantles the life you once knew. It reaches into every corner — your professional world, your personal relationships, even the quiet details of your daily life.”
She emphasizes that the abuse was never rooted in the victim’s shortcomings or failures.
“This was never about your failure. It was never about your wrongdoing.”
Instead, she explains that covert narcissistic abuse stems from jealousy, resentment, and a desire for control directed toward individuals carrying a divine light the abuser cannot dominate.
“Not because you harmed them — but because you carry something they cannot dominate. You carry the light of God. And darkness has always resented the light. It doesn’t negotiate with it. It seeks to extinguish it."
The Breaking Point That Led to Transformation
Dr. Zacharia reflects on the path she was previously walking — one marked by chronic self-sacrifice, emotional depletion and shrinking herself to gain acceptance from people who did not truly value her.
“I would have continued down that path. Accepting that I was too much. Believing I wasn’t worthy of celebration or genuine, unconditional love. Convincing myself that this was simply the life I was meant to live.”
She shares that it took the destruction caused by the third — and most malignant — covert narcissist in her life to interrupt that trajectory and force a complete reevaluation of her existence.
“Without that forced separation from my old life, I would not have seen the progressive downward spiral I was in — drifting further and further away from who God created me to be.”
Through the devastation, she discovered a deeper relationship with God and experienced profound spiritual restoration.
“But God, in His mercy, refused to let me disappear inside it. He rebuilt me — piece by piece. When I was left alone to process the magnitude of what I had endured, I discovered the power of His presence in a way I never had before. His angels never left my side. Even when people walked away, Heaven did not.”
Dr. Zacharia explains that God used the pain of covert narcissistic abuse to expose deeper wounds, heal vulnerabilities and reconnect her to her divine purpose.
“He used it to reconnect me with the truth of why I am here. I was never meant to stay small, because God has an assignment for my life. And the same is true for you.”
Covert Narcissistic Abuse as Spiritual Warfare
She takes this opportunity to remind listeners that covert narcissistic abuse extends beyond its label as a personality disorder:
“I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: covert narcissistic abuse runs deeper than a personality disorder. It is spiritual warfare.”
“The spiritual attack on our identity was so intense because our calling is that significant. We are meant to lead. We are meant to rise in the face of the enemy’s oppression.”
She explains that the deprivation survivors endure ultimately cultivates immense inner strength, self-worth and unwavering identity in Christ.
“But that pain did something profound. It cultivated an immense depth of self-love. An indomitable sense of self. Validation that comes from within and is not reliant on external forces. An unshakable knowing of who you are in Christ with boundaries that cannot be breached.”
Dr. Zacharia describes survivors not as fragile, but as spiritually refined leaders forged through adversity.
“The leaders God has forged us into through the pain of covert narcissistic abuse are not fragile. We are refined. We are discerning. We are resilient and capable of weathering any storm.”
A Divine Calling Rooted in Christ
Dr. Zacharia reviews her divine calling with listeners in explicit terms, one she had not done until this episode and a recent social media post.
“And though I’ve spoken about why I am here, I haven’t fully disclosed it in explicit terms — until now: I am chosen by God to lead survivors out of the bondage of covert narcissistic abuse, back to Him and into their divine calling — a calling rooted in Christ, who shows us how to walk in truth, in love and in unshakable divine authority.”
Dr. Zacharia explains that this mission extends beyond individual healing and is connected to the larger body of Christ working collectively to restore light in a spiritually troubled world.
“No matter where you are on your journey right now, God wants you to know, you are not walking this path alone, no matter how your circumstances may appear. Christ is at the center of it all — guiding, teaching and empowering you to align with your divine purpose.”
She emphasizes that her teachings stem from lived spiritual experience and a personal relationship with God rather than religious doctrine or dogma.
“This is not about rules, rituals or man-made expectations. This is about a living, personal relationship with God — a relationship that transforms your heart, restores your soul and equips you to walk fully in your divine calling.”
Dr. Zacharia also discusses the importance of accepting Jesus as the Son of God and Savior fully as part of the healing process from covert narcissistic abuse.
“To fully heal from covert narcissistic abuse and lead as God’s chosen one, you must invest yourself deeply in your relationship with Him — this includes accepting Jesus as the Son of God and our Savior.”
The Spiritual Significance of the Number 33
Dr. Zacharia takes a moment in this episode to reflect on the spiritual symbolism of the angel number 33 and why listeners should take note when they see this number appear repeatedly.
"33 was the age at which Jesus died on the cross. But the number 33 can also be seen as a spiritual signature of Jesus, representing far more than just the age of His crucifixion."
"In Christian thought and mysticism, 33 is considered a master number, symbolizing spiritual mastery, enlightenment and the fullness of divine purpose. It amplifies the number 3, which represents the Trinity, reflecting the perfect alignment of human and divine nature in Jesus. Beyond this, 33 signifies the completion of His teachings and miracles, His triumph over death through resurrection on the third day."
Unveiling of Divine Purpose and Embracing God's Call
Dr. Zacharia guides listeners in embracing their respective divine callings as God reveals it to them. She highlights Jesus as the perfect model to follow while walking in that calling.
“And when the time comes — if it hasn’t already — God will unveil your purpose to you. When that happens, He wants you to show up unapologetically. He wants you to take up space. He wants you to walk boldly in the divine authority He has placed within you — just as Christ modeled for us.”
“Those days of shrinking yourself and dimming your light are over. It’s time to shine brightly. It’s time to shatter the illusion that you need to hide or minimize your gifts. Our time — God’s time — is now, and Christ is at the center of it all.”
God’s Wilderness Season for His Chosen Leaders
A major focus of the episode centers on the wilderness season God places His chosen leaders through before fully stepping into divine purpose.
“For those of you walking in divine purpose as a leader and champion of Christ know this: God will put you through a wilderness season. Your wilderness season is your divine bootcamp — a place of preparation, training and alignment — for the calling God has placed on your life.”
She compares this process to Jesus’ own wilderness experience following His baptism, referencing Proverbs 3:5–6, Matthew 4:1–2 and Luke 4:1–2.
The objective of the wilderness season is to deepen one’s connection with God to the point of complete reliance on Him rather than on one’s own understanding. In order for God to use someone as a complete vessel of His truth, they must become fully dependent on Him for guidance, instruction and direction in their next steps.
In Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) specifically it states:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
The wilderness season strips away self-reliance and teaches complete surrender to God’s will.
“God wants us to become fully reliant on Him and have complete faith, because He needs us to be vessels of His truth — vessels He can trust.”
Dr. Zacharia reminds listeners that Jesus too had to walk through a wilderness season for His own ministry despite his divinity.
"Consider this: Jesus — fully divine, yet fully human — still had to walk through a wilderness season. Why? Because even the Son of God needed preparation, testing and alignment with His Father before fully stepping into His purpose."
The Danger of Control and the Lesson of Judas
Dr. Zacharia also discusses the biblical example of Judas Iscariot, explaining how distrust in God’s plan and the desire for control can create spiritual vulnerability to Satan's influence.
“At the root of Judas’ behavior was a need for control — the desire to shape events according to his own understanding rather than trusting God’s timing and purpose.”
In Luke 22:3–4 (NLT), it iterates the moment Judas need for control allowed a pathway of entry for Satan to enter:
“Then Satan entered into Judas Iscariot, who was one of the twelve disciples, and he went to the leading priests and captains of the Temple guard to discuss the best way to betray Jesus to them.”
She clarifies that questioning God during difficult seasons is part of the human experience, but warns that comfort and self-reliance can become spiritual entry points for darkness.
“Comfort is exactly where Satan finds his entry point to distract, deter and destabilize you.”
Dr. Zacharia explains that her own wilderness season has been incredibly humbling at times, yet essential for fully surrendering to God’s direction and timing.
"My mind has worked that way for 43 years, but I’ve learned the hard way that God wants me to rely on Him day by day, rather than orchestrating every detail myself. This has been both incredibly difficult and incredibly humbling."
"This wilderness season in my life has forced me into full surrender to God’s plan and His will. It has stripped away my illusions of control, reminded me that His timing is perfect and shown me that true purpose can only be realized when I let go and allow Him to lead."
In Isaiah 55:8-9 (NLT), it outlines the power of surrender and trying in God's plan:
You’re right—this is a quote within a quote, so it needs nested quotation formatting.
Correct version:
“‘My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,’ says the Lord, ‘and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’”
Spiritual Warfare During the Wilderness Season
The episode also addresses intensifying spiritual attacks during this wilderness season and the importance of remembering God’s promises.
“At times, these seasons can bring us to our knees. But through it all, God continually reminds us of His promises. One line He emphasizes to me every single day is: ‘Do not be afraid, for I am with you, now and forevermore.’”
Dr. Zacharia encourages listeners to keep a written record of the ways God has already carried them through hardship in the past, so they can return to those reminders during moments of testing.
“When Satan tests you — and trust me, he will — you can look at this list and be reminded of all the times God has had your back.”
She points listeners to biblical reminders of God’s faithfulness, including Psalm 33:4 and Numbers 23:19. Anytime God makes a promise, He keeps it.
Numbers 23:19 (NLT) highlights this truth well:
“God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?”
She also reminds listeners that spiritual attacks intensify when individuals are nearing full alignment with their God-given purpose.
“When we shine our light, we shine God’s light. Every soul that walks in God’s truth, every heart that fully surrenders, every person who steps into their divine purpose diminishes Satan’s influence over this planet.”
Symbolism: Eagle and Arrow
Eagle
Dr. Zacharia explains that the eagle symbolizes strength, vision, divine perspective and spiritual elevation above chaos and adversity.
"Eagles soar above the storms, seeing far beyond the chaos below."
"This is exactly what God wants for us. He wants us to rise above fear, doubt and spiritual attack. He wants us to gain His perspective, trusting His currents instead of clinging to our own control. The eagle reminds us that when we fully surrender to Him, we are lifted, strengthened and renewed."
Just like the eagle rides the wind, survivors are called to soar in alignment with God’s purpose: to release control, trust His plan and step boldly into their divine calling
"The eagle teaches that surrender doesn’t limit us — it empowers us to fly higher than we ever could on our own."
Isaiah 40:31 (NLT) confirms this truth as well:
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Arrow
Dr. Zacharia reflects on the spiritual symbolism of the arrow as a powerful reminder of focus, direction, alignment and surrender:
“Spiritually, the arrow represents focus, direction and alignment. It’s a reminder that God’s path is singular, purposeful and unwavering. Just as the arrow moves straight toward its target, we are called to keep our eyes fixed on Him and follow the direction He sets, even when the way seems uncertain or the journey feels difficult."
The arrow is also a powerful symbol of surrender. When people insist on going their own way, they scatter their energy, lose sight of God’s plan and open the door to distraction and spiritual attack. But when they follow the arrow—trusting God’s guidance and moving in the direction He points—they are aligned with His timing and purpose.
The episode concludes with a powerful reflection on both symbols working together spiritually.
“The eagle shows us what it looks like to soar in alignment with God’s purpose and to see things from a higher perspective, rather than becoming entangled in the storm below. The arrow reminds us to stay focused and intentional, keeping our steps in the path God has prepared for us.”