In Episode 16 of Unseen but Not Untold: Overcoming Covert Narcissistic Abuse, Dr. Christine C. Zacharia MD, integrative covert narcissistic abuse recovery expert and board certified endocrinologist, explores faith in God, identity formation and becoming who God has already called each survivor to be.
She opens the episode by anchoring the listener in divine forward movement and trust:
“Faith in who you are becoming. Faith in yourself—that you can and will lead the way to change with God at your side clearing the path in front of you.”
Divine Intentionality and the Assignment of Purpose
Dr. Zacharia establishes that divine purpose is not accidental, random or externally assigned. It is intentionally designed by God with precision and foresight.
“God has anointed you for a specific purpose. Not randomly. Not accidentally. Not as an afterthought.”
This establishes that identity is not created through experience or trauma, but through divine authorship.
“But because He has an immense level of faith in you. And He asks that you bear that same amount of faith in yourself as well — in your abilities, in your discernment and in your distinction for your specific purpose.”
Dr. Zacharia explains through this framework that God’s faith in the individual becomes the foundation for rebuilding faith in self.
Spiritual Warfare and the Targeting of Identity
She then moves into the destabilization caused by covert narcissistic abuse, describing it as a calculated dismantling of internal trust and identity clarity.
“Through covert narcissistic abuse, our faith in ourselves was craftily and strategically dismantled.”
This process of spiritual warfare distorts perception, erodes clarity and fractures self-trust.
“Satan sent the covert narcissist our way to instill doubt and fear—causing us to question the very truth of who we are at our core.”
Despite this, Dr. Zacharia reinforces that no one can erase one's God given anointing.
“But here is the truth Satan does not want you to wake up to and realize: covert narcissistic abuse does not—and cannot—erase your anointing. And what Satan used to try to destroy you, God used to elevate you."
"As a result of transmuting the pain of covert narcissistic abuse, you have now reconnected with the truth of who you are, and God has revealed His purpose for you.”
Faith Under Pressure and the Question of Calling
Dr. Zacharia acknowledges the internal struggle survivors experience even after awakening, particularly the tension between calling and self-doubt. Even after significant healing and spiritual clarity, questions can still arise around worthiness, readiness and whether one is truly equipped for the responsibility they feel God placing on their life.
She frames this not as regression, but as a natural confrontation between old conditioning and their newly restored identity in Christ. The mind may still echo old narratives of inadequacy formed through covert narcissistic abuse as the soul reanchors in truth and divine assignment.
In this space of internal conflict, Dr. Zacharia directly names the question that often surfaces when purpose begins to solidify:
“You may wonder, Why did God choose me? Am I really equipped to handle what He has asked of me?”
Rather than leaving that question open ended, she immediately resolves it with spiritual certainty, not human reassurance:
“And the answer is a resounding: YES.”
This moment functions as a turning point in the episode, transitioning the listener from internal questioning into biblical grounding around divine selection.
"So when God asks you to have faith in yourself, He is asking you to have faith in Him and the unique purpose he has entrusted you with. God doesn’t make mistakes - He created you with this very purpose in mind."
“When you confirm, ‘I trust the purpose God has called me to,’ you are saying, ‘I trust the One who placed this purpose within me.’”
This concept is reinforced in John 15:16 (NLT) where Jesus proclaims:
"You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."
Joshua: Leadership Under Divine Assignment
The episode shifts next to Joshua as a biblical model of stepping into purpose under pressure and uncertainty.
Joshua is presented not as fearless but as obedient under divine instruction.
“Joshua wasn’t stepping into comfort; he was stepping into opposition, responsibility and spiritual warfare.”
Moses provides reassurance to Joshua in this moment in Deuteronomy 31:7–8 (NLT):
“Be strong and courageous! For you will lead these people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors he would give them… Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
The passage emphasizes divine presence over ease, certainty and comfort.
“God didn’t promise Joshua an easy path — He promised His presence.”
The Persistence of Divine Identity Under Distortion
Dr. Zacharia then returns to the survivor experience, emphasizing the resilience of inner knowing despite prolonged psychological manipulation, projection and external distortion. Even in environments where truth was repeatedly challenged or reframed through a coercive lens, there remains something within the individual that does not fully break or disappear.
She describes this as a form of internal continuity that persists beneath conditioning. While covert narcissistic abuse works to overwrite perception, fragment self-trust and destabilize identity, there is still a deeper spiritual layer that remains intact beneath the noise of distortion.
"But as God’s chosen one, there was something the covert narcissist could not take from you: your knowing. A quiet, unshakable knowing that you can achieve what you set your mind to. A knowing that you are capable. A knowing that you are worthy."
"That’s why you felt the constant need to prove yourself, even as their affirmation was withheld and their diminishment continued to be delivered in subtle and calculated ways."
"Because here’s the truth: if you had truly believed everything they told you down to your core, you would have stopped trying. You would have given up. You would have accepted their version of you as final. But you didn’t."
Dr. Zacharia goes on to reinforce this internal foundation is something that cannot be externally removed or permanently dismantled, even under sustained emotional or psychological pressure.
“And what God has instilled in you—no one can take away from you.”
This becomes a central grounding point in the episode: that identity anchored in God remains intact beneath distortion and recovery is not the creation of something new, but the re-emergence of something that was never truly lost.
Covert Narcissistic Father and the Drive for Validation
Dr. Zacharia reflects on how, for much of her life, one core aspect of her truth—her intelligence—was repeatedly challenged by her father.
“One aspect of my truth that my father consistently challenged was my intelligence. Whenever an opportunity arose to diminish it, he seized it—starting from when I was very young.”
Growing up, she still held deep respect for his intellect, describing him as “a walking encyclopedia of knowledge” because he was constantly reading and absorbing information.
At the same time, Dr. Zacharia recalls sensing an unsettling dynamic beneath that admiration.
“Yet somehow, he was intimidated by my intelligence. Because someone who secure in their intellect doesn’t undermine others—especially not their own child.”
After healing from covert narcissistic abuse, Dr. Zacharia came to understand her experience with her father through a new framework, now recognizing patterns of covert narcissistic abuse in his behavior.
“Now that I finally understand he is a covert narcissist, his behavior makes sense. What I was internalizing was his projections onto me.”
Dr. Zacharia describes how this dynamic shaped a long cycle of striving and emotional pressure.
“The harder I worked and the more I accomplished, the more resentful he became. The more I felt like I had to prove myself to him. It was a vicious cycle. I thought if I worked harder, achieved more, he would finally see me.”
Even significant achievements did not shift the narrative he held about her:
“Even after getting into medical school, completing a demanding internal medicine residency and matching into an Ivy League fellowship program, my father still clung onto this narrative.”
Dr. Zacharia connects this to a broader understanding of covert narcissistic dynamics:
“They intentionally misunderstand your truth, planting seeds of doubt, creating a narrative that reinforces what they believe your truth should be.”
She goes on to emphasize that the internalized narrative never fully defined her.
“If I had accepted his version of reality as fact, I wouldn’t have made it as far as I did personally, academically or professionally."
"That knowing could never be fully dismantled by him because it was deeply embedded in me by God.”
Failure, Refinement and Divine Redirection
The episode then transitions into a personal testimony surrounding Dr. Zacharia’s internal medicine board exam coming out of residency. She walks through how her preparation strategy had shifted over time, moving from structured long-term studying during medical school to shorter, more compressed study periods that she had come to rely on.
As residency came to an end in 2012, she admits she did not prioritize consistent board exam preparation. Other commitments and day-to-day responsibilities took precedence and she assumed she would be able to compensate later by cramming closer to the exam during her fellowship training.
Two weeks before the exam, she started cramming material in that should have been processed over a 6 week minimum.
She ultimately did not pass the exam and missed the passing score narrowly.
“I missed the passing cutoff by three points.”
Dr. Zacharia goes on to explain that the failure was especially devastating because of how narrow the miss was. She dreaded calling her parents to inform them of what had happened. When she finally mustered the courage to call home, her father answered.
His response was immediate:
“Well, you’ve never been the sharpest tool in the shed.”
In that moment, she describes how she felt herself spiraling back to her early twenties, to her college years, when he questioned her capacity and competence to not only get into medical school but also to be a compassionate physician.
Right on cue and true to form, Dr. Zacharia describes how her father threw more salt into an already gaping wound.
"This is exactly the space covert narcissists love to occupy: when you’re vulnerable… when you’re questioning yourself… when you’re hurting, sad or ashamed. They strike deepest there. They kick you when you’re down because it restores in them a sense of superiority they cannot access when you are confident, thriving or secure."
"Your vulnerability becomes their opportunity."
The weekend that followed, she spent most of it lying on her couch, moping over her score. Her father’s words echoed in her mind along with the three-point miss on a passing score.
As she lay there on the couch, she describes finally snapping out of the negative spiral she found herself in. It was not a fleeting thought, but something deeper that shifted her state of mind.
She describes it as God reminding her of her truth.
"I did not fail because I wasn’t intelligent enough. I failed because I did not prepare enough."
Dr. Zacharia then recalls being reminded that she could accomplish whatever she set her mind to, as she had always done in the past and that what she needed was to put in the work.
She describes the three-point miss as a divine reality check from God.
“God humbled me in this moment, not to punish me, but to redirect and refine me.”
In response, she created a study plan and committed to it three months leading up to the repeat exam a year later. She also dedicated extra time to the specialty areas where she had scored lowest.
Dr. Zacharia approached the repeat exam the following year fully prepared, focused and intentional.
When she retook it, she not only passed — she scored 100% in some of the subspecialty sections she had performed worst in the year prior.
The areas that were once her weaknesses became her strengths. The sections that had shaken her confidence became proof of her resilience.
"And I have God to thank for that. He redirected me and reminded me of who I am and what I needed to do."
He reinforced the faith in herself and did not allow her to internalize the narrative projected onto her by her father in her moment of weakness. In fact, she states her weakness was turned into strength.
This test of faith forged how she approached further setbacks and obstacles, including the pain of covert narcissistic abuse.
"I didn’t allow the abuse to define me, but I found purpose in the pain. I transformed the pain into strength, purpose and light - and God was key to all of it. Because He reminded me of my truth. And in that, He revealed my purpose to me."
Covert Narcissistic Abuse as Refinement for Calling
The episode expands the personal narrative into a broader spiritual principle, framing the experience of covert narcissistic abuse as part of a refining process under God’s purpose rather than random suffering or identity destruction.
“God used the pain of covert narcissistic abuse to refine you for your purpose.”
This refinement is not passive or incidental. It is an intentional shaping process that strengthens endurance, clarity and spiritual resilience in preparation for one's calling.
Dr. Zacharia discusses that what was intended to break the individual becomes, through God’s redirection, the very material used for strengthening and preparation.
Covert narcissistic abuse is reframed as part of a larger process of alignment with purpose rather than deviation from it.
“This calling is not for everyone—it is for God’s strongest warriors.That’s why you were targeted by someone as destructive as the covert narcissist: a force no one could see, working in the darkness under a facade of light, whose objective was to destroy you."
"When you take what was intended to break you and use it to elevate yourself, it’s a divine level of mastery firmly rooted and anchored in God."
Identity, Worth and Divine Ownership
Dr. Zacharia reinforces identity restoration through scripture, directly challenging the internalized narratives of inadequacy that persist after covert narcissistic abuse.
In Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) it states:
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
This verse establishes divine authorship over identity and purpose. The emphasis is not on achievement or external validation, but on origin and intentional creation. Identity is framed as something already established by God before external experiences attempted to distort it.
“If God considers you His masterpiece, why should you disrespect His work as inferior?”
Spiritual Warfare, Protection and Divine Timing
The episode then addresses resistance, delay and perceived stagnation in purpose activation, especially during seasons where progress feels unclear or obstructed.
Rather than interpreting these experiences as rejection or abandonment, Dr. Zacharia reframes them as part of divine orchestration and protection within the unfolding of purpose.
“Sometimes what feels like stagnation is protection. Sometimes what feels like obstruction is divine redirection. Sometimes the path must be cleared of hidden interference before you are elevated into the fullness of your assignment."
"But when God ordains your steps, no alliance, no tactic of sabotage can override what He has already established over your life."
Jesus as the Model of Purpose and Authority
The episode then grounds the entire discussion of purpose, endurance and alignment in the example of Jesus as the ultimate model of obedience, humility and authority under divine assignment.
Philippians 2:5–8 and 9-11 is referenced to highlight Christ’s humility, obedience and willingness to endure suffering while remaining aligned with God’s will. His example is presented as the pattern for walking in purpose without compromise, even under opposition and misunderstanding.
- He humbled Himself, serving others even when it cost Him.
- He obeyed God fully, enduring trials and persecution.
- He faced the ultimate challenge — death on the cross — without compromise for the sin incurred on humanity by Satan.
Dr. Zacharia then cites verses 9-11 which informs the listener:
“Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name above every name… every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.”
She goes on to reflect on what it means to live anchored in one's divine calling, framing it through the lens of spiritual identity and trust in God’s sovereignty.
“So, what does this mean for you, as God’s Chosen One? It means your calling, your gifts, and your authority are secure because the One who placed them in you is omnipotent and faithful.”
This trust mirrors the example of Jesus, who lived in complete alignment with the Father’s will.
“Just as Jesus trusted the Father completely, you can trust that God’s plan for you is perfect.”
Dr. Zacharia points to Jesus as the blueprint for grounded, faithful leadership—one marked not by insecurity or self-defense, but by strength rooted in love and integrity.
“Jesus shows us that true leadership and power flow from strength, love and unwavering integrity: He was bold, yet measured. He was compassionate, yet unshakable. He did not bend to misunderstanding or justify Himself. He never abandoned His mission, even in the face of opposition. He walked in His truth.”
“Jesus is the perfect model for walking fully in your calling—rooted in purpose, anchored in God and guided by a heart that leads without compromise.”
Dr. Zacharia reminds listeners that their resilience, ability to rise after trials and their unwavering faith is evidence of God’s power at work through them - modeled perfectly in the life of Jesus.
Philippians 4:13 (NLT) reinforces this truth:
“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
Faith in Identity and Calling
She closes the episode by returning to the central truth that suffering and refinement are not meant to return someone to a diminished version of themselves, but to transform them into who they were always meant to become.
“You were not refined in the fire of covert narcissistic abuse to return to who you once were. That version of yourself had been cut down to endure their control, diminished in ways that kept you small—but that was not your true essence.”
“God has rebuilt you now in the crucible of His purpose, refining you like gold in the fire, purifying every shadow and weakness. You have emerged a radiant vessel illuminated by His light, fully aligned with the anointing He placed on your life before you were born.”
Dr. Zacharia encourages listeners to persevere in the face of opposition and to reframe resistance not as failure but as confirmation of purpose.
“So remember, when you face opposition or anger as you walk in your purpose, it is not a sign that you are doing something wrong. It is a reminder of the strength of your anointing.”
She also reminds survivors that delay and resistance are part of divine orchestration rather than denial. She encourages listeners to have faith in themselves independent of what the circumstances look like around them.
“Sometimes what feels like stagnation is protection. Sometimes what feels like obstruction is divine redirection. Sometimes the path must be cleared of hidden interference before you are elevated into the fullness of your assignment.”
“Your time is now. Your calling is real. Your light is unstoppable. Have faith in yourself. Have faith in your purpose. Have faith in God’s purpose in you—and watch how He uses you to shape a brighter tomorrow for all of humanity.”